Friday, August 22, 2008

Stateside and Back

We have a guest blogger for this entry. This posting is from Lisa's Peace Corps Blog, writing about her recent visit in late July. Rob

I tactfullly avoided mentioning to too many people that I would be making a stop in the states for a bit, just as I have been tactfully avoiding writing anything about my trip there. Well, I think it's about time I talked. It's strange to think of an experience as both rejuvenating and energy-sucking. B/c that was what America was. Essential and exhausting, wonderful and heartbreaking.We have all changed so much whether we were aware or not: Susan, me, Jon, Sarah, family and friends. It's amazing how distance can put such a real and invisible gap between what we all understand about one another. And how that enables us to just grow up more, i guess.Susan was my reason for going back where i came from. So I went. Things were different. Some of it was sad and real. But it was what it was.I saw both a different woman and the same woman in her. I saw a woman who still loves her crafts, who still wants to be with her friends and get her nails done and have the classic "Moody" conversation that we have at their dinner table, usually on the verge of politics or religion, or life in general. I also saw her frustration in losing her independence in all these activities as well. The ultimate reality that it will not get better, and wondering, just how the hell do you say goodbye to someone...for good? I managed to leave there with thoughts of not being sad for Susan because she knows what she wants and how to go about her plans as best as she possibly can. But plans are just hopes. And we hope we can carry them out against all odds. I cannot honestly say that i am not worried for her within the next few months, but I was happy to see that she is able to make her decisions, able to prepare herself and her family and enjoy what time has left to her. I saw her trying to embrace her own person, on her own, as well as giving what time she can to others. I think all of us would want to give this time to those we love. And I can see Susan doing this both because she needs her family, but also because she knows that we need her. What greater show of empathy for those of us behind her than to get time with her, cause that's all we got to work with. Jon, Patrick and Rob are a bit of another story for me. I do worry for these men and how they will cope. I also (saw) 2 different Jonathan's back home. A caretaker, all business at times and just as frustrated as his mother was. His trade-mark patience could wear-thin. He even found it hard to "please" me one time when I snapped at him for no good reason. That's when I thought that I am not so sure that he is aware of what he is doing exactly. And that is his very best. His best to love himself, the best to love his mom and take care of her, the best to alleviate any stress on the family. His best to hold it together as a part of his world changes before his eyes. And this all just made me realize, for only the millionth time what a good heart he has. And how proud I am to be a piece of it. And it would be a lie if I said that being in Uganda wasn't some sort of escape for me. It is. I have another focus here, another life, really. That is the best and worst part about being here, maybe: the separation from my point of origin. But, this is life. Everyday we all die a bit, we grow a bit, we lose something and replace it with something else. What is most important is that we learn a lot and play a lot, like my papa preaches and do what we can to connect to others. Can I end this on a morbid note? "Love is watching someone die"And I hope that I can get a chance to be with those I love when they end their time here. Life is nothing special if it does not hurt. And I am ok with this.
Created for your enjoyment by Lisa B at 7:31 AM

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Lisa shares a poignant "snapshot" of the Moody journey. Here we get an intimate view of the love, strength, and beauty that Susan shares with her family.